Has it really only been one month since we met our little girl for the first time? My goodness.
Having a four-year-old makes life a lot busier, so instead of writing a full post, I thought I'd make a list of things she is doing right now.
~ Speaks in English 90% of the time. She is starting to use sentences, too.
~ Loves to read books, play with playdough, have tea parties, color with markers, dance and sing
~ Can count to 20
~ Knows most of her letters and the sounds they make
~ Goes to sleep beautifully. After those two nights of uncertainty, she started role-playing her bedtime routine with her baby. She would do this 8-10 times a day. Now when we say, "It's time to get jammies on," she says, "Brush teeth, go potty, wash hands, read book, go night-night." She'll repeat this a couple of times during her bedtime routine. It's amazing. She sleeps from 8:15pm - 8:00am. So thankful!
~ Adores her big sisters. Every four-year-old should have big sisters. And every twelve and ten-year-old should have a little sister. The bond the three of them share already is so precious.
~ Feeds herself using a fork and spoon
~ Gives great hugs. When we first got her, Ivy-Ann would let us pick her up, but she wouldn't reach for us. She would also let us hug her, but she wouldn't return the hug. Now she reaches her arms up and jumps to be held. She also gives good, strong hugs.
~ Is becoming more dependent. I know this sounds backwards, but no four-year-old should be able to endure all that Ivy-Ann has had to go through. She is relying on Brian and I a lot more for things, which allows her to rest and just be a little girl.
We have had such an amazing transition as a family of five. Honestly, I never dreamed it would go this smoothly. We chuckle because the biggest transition we've had to make so far is getting used to the energy of a four-year-old again. Brian and I often stand back in awe at how this little girl fits in our family. God knew, and He orchestrated this. She was made for us, and we were made for her. :)
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
giving in...
Whew. What a night so far. My girls all took pretty long naps yesterday. I eventually had to wake Emryn and Ivy-Ann up. Not long after, we ate some yummy soup and apple bars (thank you again, Lauren, Lauren and Tess!) and then the nodding -off began. We were falling asleep at the table, on the floor, on our bed. All of us except Ivy-Ann. She was ready to play! We forced our way through showers and a bath and then decided it was time to go to bed. (It was 7:45.)
However, Ivy-Ann was emphatic about not going to bed. As I was carrying her to her room, I explained that we were going night-night. She responded with no, many times. We went through the tiny routine we've been able to set up, and then it began. I laid her down on her bed, and she started crying. Her cries quickly turned to screams...some of the loudest, highest, most piercing screams I've ever heard. She was thrashing around and angry.
Brian and I both knew it was a fit and that we could not give in. However, we also knew we couldn't handle this in the same way we would if it was one of our other girls. So we made her stay in her bed, but we stayed with her. One of us was touching her at all times (while the other was silently begging for wisdom), and we were constantly telling her we loved here and to be all done; we were giving her kisses and singing to her. We wanted her to know we weren't going to give in to her fit but that we weren't going to abandon her because of it either.
At one point she stopped screaming long enough to tell us she needed to go potty. We took her, and then, after some minutes, we realized she was just sitting there to avoid going back to bed. So back to bed we went.
This went on for over an hour. Our poor baby was hoarse by the end of it. She finally gave in and fell asleep with Brian next to her kissing her cheek and telling her over and over that he loved her.
We know there were a lot of emotions wrapped into that fit, but we also felt we handled it with wisdom. It was exhausting, and we hope tomorrow night doesn't play out in a similar way. Though if it does, we'll be better geared for it.
She's been up twice since, and both times I've taken her back, and she's gone to bed just fine. That's a good sign, I think.
Whew! So much for giving in to fits or jet lag. Instead we gave into what the moment held and what our daughter most needed.
missing pieces...
I just put Ivy-Ann down for a nap. It's the first time she's taken a nap since we've been home. We are so thrown off from jet lag. Brian and I got up at 4:00 this morning. The girls have been awake since 5:30.
Ivy-Ann has slept in her bed each night. She goes down well and sleeps until morning. No tears, no struggle. But this nap was different. I laid her down and watched through the cracked door as her eyes swept the room. At night it's always dark, and Emryn is in there with her. Today it was light, and she was alone. I could tell she was processing.
Our precious girl has been through so much in the past two weeks, let alone the past four years. She is adjusting so well. She is learning our home and our family-rhythm (whatever rhythm that may be in the midst of jet lag). She is happy and comfortable. She is safe and loved. But she has endured more than any child should have to endure. She was abandoned. She has lived in an institution. She has been in two foster homes. And in the past two weeks, she has been in 3 different hotels, many different buses, crazy-long plane rides and now is in a new place with new people. She doesn't yet know she won't be shuffled around any more. She doesn't know we won't leave her.
A few minutes after I stopped watching her through her door, we heard a noise. She was whimpering like a frightened infant. I ran in, scooped her up and held her close. Our sweet girl may be adjusting beautifully, but she still holds so much inside. I sang to her and rocked her until she fell asleep.
There are missing pieces in her childhood to this point. There is a good chance she has never been rocked to sleep. As I was gazing into her eyes, sometimes she was staring into mine trying to understand just who I am. Other times she was far, far away.
It is hard not knowing her story. She is strong in ways a little girl shouldn't be. She has pain deeper than I have ever experienced. She is braver than many grown men.
I don't know how to raise a child who was orphaned. But I know the One who does. And I will rest in that.
Ivy-Ann has slept in her bed each night. She goes down well and sleeps until morning. No tears, no struggle. But this nap was different. I laid her down and watched through the cracked door as her eyes swept the room. At night it's always dark, and Emryn is in there with her. Today it was light, and she was alone. I could tell she was processing.
Our precious girl has been through so much in the past two weeks, let alone the past four years. She is adjusting so well. She is learning our home and our family-rhythm (whatever rhythm that may be in the midst of jet lag). She is happy and comfortable. She is safe and loved. But she has endured more than any child should have to endure. She was abandoned. She has lived in an institution. She has been in two foster homes. And in the past two weeks, she has been in 3 different hotels, many different buses, crazy-long plane rides and now is in a new place with new people. She doesn't yet know she won't be shuffled around any more. She doesn't know we won't leave her.
A few minutes after I stopped watching her through her door, we heard a noise. She was whimpering like a frightened infant. I ran in, scooped her up and held her close. Our sweet girl may be adjusting beautifully, but she still holds so much inside. I sang to her and rocked her until she fell asleep.
There are missing pieces in her childhood to this point. There is a good chance she has never been rocked to sleep. As I was gazing into her eyes, sometimes she was staring into mine trying to understand just who I am. Other times she was far, far away.
It is hard not knowing her story. She is strong in ways a little girl shouldn't be. She has pain deeper than I have ever experienced. She is braver than many grown men.
I don't know how to raise a child who was orphaned. But I know the One who does. And I will rest in that.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
hers...
Today was our visit to Ivy-Ann's orphanage. We were hoping for some time to see the place where Ivy-Ann spent the first four years of her life. We wanted to spend time with the other children who Ivy-Ann has grown up with and whose faces we've grown to love over the past 10 1/2 months. We knew a bit about a nanny who has been taking Ivy-Ann home with her, and we knew that this nanny and a "doctor" wanted to have lunch with us after our tour to the orphanage. What we didn't know was how this day would play out.
The orphanage is two hours away from our hotel. Because the other three families we are traveling with were going to a different orphanage, our guide went with them. He assigned a colleague of his to travel with us today. He was very nice, but we were disappointed. Charlie was not assertive, nor did he translate much of what was going on. It was frustrating. We were thankful to have someone who spoke English with us, though.
The orphanage is on the top of a mountain. All the way up I was gearing up to meet the nanny and to see the place my little girl has called home. I assumed once we entered, we would see everyone. I was wrong. When we pulled up to the orphanage, we were bombarded by about 10-12 people. They opened the van door, and a beautiful, young lady snatched Ivy-Ann up.
The chaos began. They were all cheering and clapping for Ivy-Ann. Eventually we were led into the orphanage, and the children bombarded us. Those precious faces that I've looked at on the screen were living and breathing. I knelt down and said, "Ni hao" (hello) to each one, looking them in the eyes and stroking their cheeks. All around us, the nannies and others were still yelling to and about Ivy-Ann, and I wasn't sure where my daughter was at that point. I grabbed a bag of Dum-Dums and started handing them out to the kids.
The chaos continued. I finally asked if we could see the babies. A new friend of mine is going to get her little boy soon, and I wanted to take some pictures of him. They led us into the babies' room, where all the babies were in their cribs. We all went around talking and gazing at their beautiful faces. It is heartbreaking to think these children have all been abandoned and some may never have families or homes. It was gut-wrenching seeing the reality of that. These babies and children are taken care of, but it is still an institution, and it is not a family. It was very difficult for us all to see.
I then asked if we could see Ivy-Ann's bed. And that's when the unknown story began to unfold. Ivy-Ann doesn't have a bed in the orphanage. Ivy-Ann was abandoned when she was 6 days old. When she was 2, a nurse and her husband started volunteering at the orphanage and fell in love with her. They took her home and fostered her until she was about 3 1/2. They had tried for a long time to have a baby, and they decided they wanted to adopt Ivy-Ann if the wife didn't get pregnant. They now have a 4-month-old baby boy.
When they could no longer keep Ivy-Ann, another family stepped up to foster her. They were an older family and very good friends with the younger family. We thought that Ivy-Ann only went home with this nanny on occasion, but she was actually living with them. And we had no knowledge of the younger couple or that Ivy-Ann was fostered during that time in her life.
Our visit to the orphanage lacked in so many ways because of the excitement surrounding our daughter. We didn't get to see Ivy-Ann's favorite room. We didn't get to see the "schoolroom." We barely got to see anything. We were only there for about 30 minutes at the most. And during this time, the young nurse was carrying Ivy-Ann around.
At this point, it was on to lunch. There were about 15 people that went to eat with us. The nurse wasn't quite ready to give Ivy-Ann up, so she invited me to ride in her car with her. She spoke a small amount of English, and it was awkward. However, it was good. Her husband drove, and she, Ivy-Ann and I sat in the back. I could see how much they loved Ivy-Ann and how thankful they were that we were adopting her.
After lunch, they invited us to their home. She had prepared a beautiful photo book of pictures they had taken when Ivy-Ann lived with them as a gift for us. It was a precious time seeing them, their beautiful baby boy and the place our daughter called home for a good portion of her life so far.
We then went to the home of the older family that had been fostering Ivy-Ann. They were not quite as attached to her, and they had fostered other children as well. They loved Ivy-Ann, though, and we are thankful for them.
Then it was time to say good-bye. We took pictures of us with each family. The precious young nurse and her husband were in tears, and so were we. We thanked them all and assured them that we already loved Ivy-Ann very much. We hugged everyone. The hardest hug for me was the young nurse. There were few words spoken and understood, but there was much said through that embrace.
They walked us out to the van, and each hugged Ivy-Ann. Then we shut the door. She never cried, but she came quietly back and sat next to me. She looked around and said each of our names, and then she sat quietly. The two families wanted to "drive us to the highway." Apparently that is a Chinese custom. We were hoping that once we got to the highway, they would go one way and we go another. But they stopped and came over to the van once more.
Ivy-Ann didn't budge. She had on her seatbelt, but I was letting her take the lead. They were all sticking their heads in and saying goodbye and I love you, wanting her to come and hug them. She just waved and said, "Bye bye." Within three minutes of them finally shutting the door, Ivy-Ann was sound asleep in my lap.
At one point, she stirred, looked up at me and said, "I love you" in Chinese then went right back to sleep. When she woke up, she looked at each of us said our names again. She also said and signed, "I love you" to each one of us. Her family. Hers.
Today was hard, but it was good. We are so thankful for those families who love our little girl, and we are thankful that they loved her enough to be glad she no longer has caretakers but has parents and sisters. A family. Her family.
(I'm off to bed now. I'm not proof-reading this, so I'm sorry for any errors. I may come back and add more or change some things later, but I needed to write this much out tonight.)
The orphanage is two hours away from our hotel. Because the other three families we are traveling with were going to a different orphanage, our guide went with them. He assigned a colleague of his to travel with us today. He was very nice, but we were disappointed. Charlie was not assertive, nor did he translate much of what was going on. It was frustrating. We were thankful to have someone who spoke English with us, though.
The orphanage is on the top of a mountain. All the way up I was gearing up to meet the nanny and to see the place my little girl has called home. I assumed once we entered, we would see everyone. I was wrong. When we pulled up to the orphanage, we were bombarded by about 10-12 people. They opened the van door, and a beautiful, young lady snatched Ivy-Ann up.
The chaos began. They were all cheering and clapping for Ivy-Ann. Eventually we were led into the orphanage, and the children bombarded us. Those precious faces that I've looked at on the screen were living and breathing. I knelt down and said, "Ni hao" (hello) to each one, looking them in the eyes and stroking their cheeks. All around us, the nannies and others were still yelling to and about Ivy-Ann, and I wasn't sure where my daughter was at that point. I grabbed a bag of Dum-Dums and started handing them out to the kids.
The chaos continued. I finally asked if we could see the babies. A new friend of mine is going to get her little boy soon, and I wanted to take some pictures of him. They led us into the babies' room, where all the babies were in their cribs. We all went around talking and gazing at their beautiful faces. It is heartbreaking to think these children have all been abandoned and some may never have families or homes. It was gut-wrenching seeing the reality of that. These babies and children are taken care of, but it is still an institution, and it is not a family. It was very difficult for us all to see.
I then asked if we could see Ivy-Ann's bed. And that's when the unknown story began to unfold. Ivy-Ann doesn't have a bed in the orphanage. Ivy-Ann was abandoned when she was 6 days old. When she was 2, a nurse and her husband started volunteering at the orphanage and fell in love with her. They took her home and fostered her until she was about 3 1/2. They had tried for a long time to have a baby, and they decided they wanted to adopt Ivy-Ann if the wife didn't get pregnant. They now have a 4-month-old baby boy.
When they could no longer keep Ivy-Ann, another family stepped up to foster her. They were an older family and very good friends with the younger family. We thought that Ivy-Ann only went home with this nanny on occasion, but she was actually living with them. And we had no knowledge of the younger couple or that Ivy-Ann was fostered during that time in her life.
Our visit to the orphanage lacked in so many ways because of the excitement surrounding our daughter. We didn't get to see Ivy-Ann's favorite room. We didn't get to see the "schoolroom." We barely got to see anything. We were only there for about 30 minutes at the most. And during this time, the young nurse was carrying Ivy-Ann around.
At this point, it was on to lunch. There were about 15 people that went to eat with us. The nurse wasn't quite ready to give Ivy-Ann up, so she invited me to ride in her car with her. She spoke a small amount of English, and it was awkward. However, it was good. Her husband drove, and she, Ivy-Ann and I sat in the back. I could see how much they loved Ivy-Ann and how thankful they were that we were adopting her.
After lunch, they invited us to their home. She had prepared a beautiful photo book of pictures they had taken when Ivy-Ann lived with them as a gift for us. It was a precious time seeing them, their beautiful baby boy and the place our daughter called home for a good portion of her life so far.
We then went to the home of the older family that had been fostering Ivy-Ann. They were not quite as attached to her, and they had fostered other children as well. They loved Ivy-Ann, though, and we are thankful for them.
Then it was time to say good-bye. We took pictures of us with each family. The precious young nurse and her husband were in tears, and so were we. We thanked them all and assured them that we already loved Ivy-Ann very much. We hugged everyone. The hardest hug for me was the young nurse. There were few words spoken and understood, but there was much said through that embrace.
They walked us out to the van, and each hugged Ivy-Ann. Then we shut the door. She never cried, but she came quietly back and sat next to me. She looked around and said each of our names, and then she sat quietly. The two families wanted to "drive us to the highway." Apparently that is a Chinese custom. We were hoping that once we got to the highway, they would go one way and we go another. But they stopped and came over to the van once more.
Ivy-Ann didn't budge. She had on her seatbelt, but I was letting her take the lead. They were all sticking their heads in and saying goodbye and I love you, wanting her to come and hug them. She just waved and said, "Bye bye." Within three minutes of them finally shutting the door, Ivy-Ann was sound asleep in my lap.
At one point, she stirred, looked up at me and said, "I love you" in Chinese then went right back to sleep. When she woke up, she looked at each of us said our names again. She also said and signed, "I love you" to each one of us. Her family. Hers.
Today was hard, but it was good. We are so thankful for those families who love our little girl, and we are thankful that they loved her enough to be glad she no longer has caretakers but has parents and sisters. A family. Her family.
(I'm off to bed now. I'm not proof-reading this, so I'm sorry for any errors. I may come back and add more or change some things later, but I needed to write this much out tonight.)
Monday, November 11, 2013
ours...
I am going to try to capture yesterday as well as I can. I don't want to forget. But I am going on only a couple of hours of sleep, so this may be scattered.
We arrived at the Civil Affairs office around 2:00. There are three other families here with us, but their children are from a different orphanage in the area. On the drive over, Michael, our guide, told us that Lelei (Ivy-Ann's Chinese name and her now middle name) would either already be there or be there soon. The other children would be arriving about an hour later. We walked in with searching eyes. They hadn't arrived yet. We looked around a bit, and then sat down to wait.
Within five minutes, our precious girl came bouncing in. We weren't sure if we could go up to her or not, but I called her name. The assistant director from her orphanage brought her right over. Lelei was so excited, chattering away and looking everywhere. I pulled out a stuffed seahorse that lights up and plays classical music, and she was entranced. It took her all of 5 seconds to figure out how it worked, and she squealed (loudly!) with delight.
After a few minutes more, she wanted to know what else was in her backpack. I pulled out a couple of other things. She played a bit as the assistant director was trying to give us information and tell Lelei who we were. I could tell she was trying to put it all together, so I pulled out the photo album we had sent her back in July. (They brought us a little bag with all the things we had sent to her.) I flipped through and pointed at the pictures and then at us. You could just see it clicking in her little head. She was so excited! She kept going between the seahorse and the album, pointing at pictures and then at us. I had prayed that we would be familiar, and we were. Her orphanage had prepared her well.
She is just perfect. She talks all the time, and we just try to turn everything into English. She is very smart and very focused. She colored with color wonder markers (she is ambidextrous right now) for almost an hour. She would ask for help and get confused when there were areas that wouldn't show color, but she'd just move on to another area. Then we played with pop beads for the next hour. She loves to put things away as much as she loves playing with them.
Every 30 minutes or so, she would look around the room. (The assistant director said she can only really see about 3-feet away, so we were all close.) She would point to each of us and say our names and wouldn't rest until she found all of us. Then she would go back to whatever she was doing.
She loved getting a bath! We have some stacking cups, and she kept pouring them over her head. She is very independent, which is good, but we are hoping she will let some of that go once she can rest in her parents. She also loved having her hair brushed and dried. It soothed her.
We read "Goodnight Moon" multiple times, and she was entranced. She learned the word "balloon" quickly and actually pointed to the red balloon once on her own and said, "balloon." She also has almost learned Ashlyn's and Emryn's names.
We have two, connecting rooms, so Ashlyn and Emryn are in one, and we are in the other. When we went to put Ashlyn and Emryn to bed, we kissed them. Ivy-Ann crawled over and kissed them both just like we did. It melted all of our hearts.
We put her in between us in our bed, and she played with her seahorse a bit before falling asleep. She is still asleep with her Baba (daddy) right now. I couldn't quit touching her last night. Feeling her little feet, playing with her thick, course hair, listening to her breathe, feeling her little heart beat...she is here. With us. Ours.
We go today to finalize the adoption. Ashlyn and Emryn are doing so well, and they are in love with their sister. We don't know what today will hold, but yesterday was beautiful and precious, and we couldn't have asked for a better first day with our daughter!
We arrived at the Civil Affairs office around 2:00. There are three other families here with us, but their children are from a different orphanage in the area. On the drive over, Michael, our guide, told us that Lelei (Ivy-Ann's Chinese name and her now middle name) would either already be there or be there soon. The other children would be arriving about an hour later. We walked in with searching eyes. They hadn't arrived yet. We looked around a bit, and then sat down to wait.
Within five minutes, our precious girl came bouncing in. We weren't sure if we could go up to her or not, but I called her name. The assistant director from her orphanage brought her right over. Lelei was so excited, chattering away and looking everywhere. I pulled out a stuffed seahorse that lights up and plays classical music, and she was entranced. It took her all of 5 seconds to figure out how it worked, and she squealed (loudly!) with delight.
After a few minutes more, she wanted to know what else was in her backpack. I pulled out a couple of other things. She played a bit as the assistant director was trying to give us information and tell Lelei who we were. I could tell she was trying to put it all together, so I pulled out the photo album we had sent her back in July. (They brought us a little bag with all the things we had sent to her.) I flipped through and pointed at the pictures and then at us. You could just see it clicking in her little head. She was so excited! She kept going between the seahorse and the album, pointing at pictures and then at us. I had prayed that we would be familiar, and we were. Her orphanage had prepared her well.
She is just perfect. She talks all the time, and we just try to turn everything into English. She is very smart and very focused. She colored with color wonder markers (she is ambidextrous right now) for almost an hour. She would ask for help and get confused when there were areas that wouldn't show color, but she'd just move on to another area. Then we played with pop beads for the next hour. She loves to put things away as much as she loves playing with them.
Every 30 minutes or so, she would look around the room. (The assistant director said she can only really see about 3-feet away, so we were all close.) She would point to each of us and say our names and wouldn't rest until she found all of us. Then she would go back to whatever she was doing.
She loved getting a bath! We have some stacking cups, and she kept pouring them over her head. She is very independent, which is good, but we are hoping she will let some of that go once she can rest in her parents. She also loved having her hair brushed and dried. It soothed her.
We read "Goodnight Moon" multiple times, and she was entranced. She learned the word "balloon" quickly and actually pointed to the red balloon once on her own and said, "balloon." She also has almost learned Ashlyn's and Emryn's names.
We have two, connecting rooms, so Ashlyn and Emryn are in one, and we are in the other. When we went to put Ashlyn and Emryn to bed, we kissed them. Ivy-Ann crawled over and kissed them both just like we did. It melted all of our hearts.
We put her in between us in our bed, and she played with her seahorse a bit before falling asleep. She is still asleep with her Baba (daddy) right now. I couldn't quit touching her last night. Feeling her little feet, playing with her thick, course hair, listening to her breathe, feeling her little heart beat...she is here. With us. Ours.
We go today to finalize the adoption. Ashlyn and Emryn are doing so well, and they are in love with their sister. We don't know what today will hold, but yesterday was beautiful and precious, and we couldn't have asked for a better first day with our daughter!
Monday, November 4, 2013
two weeks in China...
What will we be doing while we're in China for two weeks? Eh...nothing much. ;)
Friday, 11/8 - leave for China
Sunday, 11/10 - arrive in China
Monday, 11/11 - Go to the Civil Affairs office to receive Ivy-Ann!
Tuesday, 11/12 - finalize the adoption
Wednesday, 11/13 and Thursday, 11/14 - One day will be spent sightseeing. The other day will be spent driving two hours in the mountains to the orphanage where Ivy-Ann has lived for the past four years.
Friday, 11/15 - fly to Guangzhou
Saturday, 11/16 - Ivy-Ann will have her medical.
Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, 11/17 - 11/19 - sightseeing in Guangzhou
Wednesday, 11/20 - Consulate Appointment
Thursday, 11/21 - packing and driving to Hong Kong
Friday, 11/22 - leave China
Friday 11/22 in the States - Arriving home as a family of five!
China is 14 hours ahead of us, so that accounts for some of the weirdness in the dates of our return.
Friday, September 20, 2013
next steps...
On September 6, we finally received our LOA (Letter of Acceptance). After almost five months of hard waiting, we had it! This was the letter from the CCCWA asking us to accept or not accept Ivy-Ann as our daughter. Of course, we said yes!
Once we had our LOA, we could then move on to other things. I spent three hours last Saturday filling out our visa applications. They were sent to China. I got an email yesterday saying our visas had been picked up and mailed back to us. I'm hoping we get them tomorrow or Monday.
Our LOA was overnighted on September 9, with some other paperwork, to the USCIS. The approval of this paperwork will give us permission to bring Ivy-Ann into the US. Once the USCIS has approved our paperwork, they will forward it to the NVC (National Visa Center).
At that point, I get to contact the NVC daily and request that they email me the pdf of our cable letter which is going over to the US Embassy in China. The NVC does not have to email the pdf to us. We will eventually get the hard copy in the mail, but it will speed the process along if they are willing to email it. I'm hoping I will quickly reach someone kind who doesn't mind helping me.
Once we have a copy of the cable letter, we can begin the process for our Article 5. This is the process for issuing Ivy-Ann's visa at the Consulate in China. This process takes two weeks.
Once the Article 5 is sent to the CCCWA, we begin the wait for our Travel Approval (TA). Once this arrives, it won't be long before we are told when our consulate appointment (CA) is.
Not long after getting our TA and CA, we will be on our way to our little girl! We won't know exactly when we will travel until we get our TA, but we are hoping to go to China sometime in December, if not November.
We are coming, sweet girl! :)
Once we had our LOA, we could then move on to other things. I spent three hours last Saturday filling out our visa applications. They were sent to China. I got an email yesterday saying our visas had been picked up and mailed back to us. I'm hoping we get them tomorrow or Monday.
Our LOA was overnighted on September 9, with some other paperwork, to the USCIS. The approval of this paperwork will give us permission to bring Ivy-Ann into the US. Once the USCIS has approved our paperwork, they will forward it to the NVC (National Visa Center).
At that point, I get to contact the NVC daily and request that they email me the pdf of our cable letter which is going over to the US Embassy in China. The NVC does not have to email the pdf to us. We will eventually get the hard copy in the mail, but it will speed the process along if they are willing to email it. I'm hoping I will quickly reach someone kind who doesn't mind helping me.
Once we have a copy of the cable letter, we can begin the process for our Article 5. This is the process for issuing Ivy-Ann's visa at the Consulate in China. This process takes two weeks.
Once the Article 5 is sent to the CCCWA, we begin the wait for our Travel Approval (TA). Once this arrives, it won't be long before we are told when our consulate appointment (CA) is.
Not long after getting our TA and CA, we will be on our way to our little girl! We won't know exactly when we will travel until we get our TA, but we are hoping to go to China sometime in December, if not November.
We are coming, sweet girl! :)
Thursday, July 18, 2013
our little tour guide...
Last week, I had shared a couple of Ivy-Ann's newest pictures on a Facebook page I'm part of through our agency for families who have or are adopting from China. One of the moms commented and asked what orphanage Ivy-Ann was at, because she thought she had met her earlier this year when they were in China getting their daughter. Come to find out, their little girl and Ivy-Ann were at the orphanage! Once we figured that out, Jana asked for my number. She said she had a sweet story she wanted to share with me.
When Jana, her husband and little girl went to visit the orphanage, they stepped off the elevator and were immediately greeted by two little girls that were waiting for them. Ivy-Ann was one of them. She walked right up and grabbed the dad's hand and led the family to the room where their daughter's bed had been. After a bit, the family walked into the hall where they were chatting with their guide.
Ivy-Ann went up to Jana and tugged on her leg. Jana realized that Ivy-Ann was wanting to take her somewhere, so they all followed her. She led them into a room called the "library." In that room are pictures of children from the orphanage who are now adopted. Jana's family looked around the room for awhile, and then they were ready to move along. Ivy-Ann, however, was not. Jana asked their guide about this, and she said that Ivy-Ann loves and spends a lot of time in the "library."
I loved hearing this story. It gives us just a bit more insight into our little girl. I also loved chatting with this mama who with whom I now have a beautiful connection.
When Jana, her husband and little girl went to visit the orphanage, they stepped off the elevator and were immediately greeted by two little girls that were waiting for them. Ivy-Ann was one of them. She walked right up and grabbed the dad's hand and led the family to the room where their daughter's bed had been. After a bit, the family walked into the hall where they were chatting with their guide.
Ivy-Ann went up to Jana and tugged on her leg. Jana realized that Ivy-Ann was wanting to take her somewhere, so they all followed her. She led them into a room called the "library." In that room are pictures of children from the orphanage who are now adopted. Jana's family looked around the room for awhile, and then they were ready to move along. Ivy-Ann, however, was not. Jana asked their guide about this, and she said that Ivy-Ann loves and spends a lot of time in the "library."
I loved hearing this story. It gives us just a bit more insight into our little girl. I also loved chatting with this mama who with whom I now have a beautiful connection.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
beautiful and unexpected part 4...
(While I am typing this out, I am also chatting on Facebook with another mom whose little girl is in foster care through Ivy-Ann's orphanage. They are also waiting for their LOA, and they have only received two pictures of their daughter. My heart aches for them. I talked with another mom earlier today who had a similar story. I don't understand why God chose us to receive this precious gift through Chris, but I am so very thankful.)
These pictures were from Chris' last day at the orphanage. (The little purple spot next to Ivy-Ann's mouth is an iodine mixture they put on the kids' sores.)
I love this precious girl, and I love the amazing lady who shared these moments with her. :)
beautiful and unexpected part 3...
(I really am writing all this out so I can remember it all and share it with Ivy-Ann in years to come, along with the exchange of emails between Chris and me. Feel free to just skip the details and look at the pictures, if you'd like!)
The next morning I woke up and immediately checked my email. I hadn't slept much the night before. They are 13 hours ahead of us in China, so at some point while I should've been sleeping, Chris was giving Ivy-Ann our things and introducing her to us. I spent most of that night thinking, dreaming and praying.
But when I checked that morning, there was no email. I admit I was a little disappointed, but I also knew that Chris had so much going on, and I just assumed she was already in bed after a big day. I was also so thrilled with the pictures and emails I had already received from her.
A couple of hours later, though, I heard my phone notifying me of an email. I had not just one email from Chris but six! She had stayed up late that night because she wanted to share all of this with us. The first email was a beautiful recap of the time she spent with Ivy-Ann. That morning they played pattycake and enjoyed each other. After lunch, when it was nap-time, Chris asked if Ivy-Ann could come with her into another room to go through our things without interruption. I started crying at this. Chris understood how special and important this was to us, and it had become special and important to her as well.
Here are a just a few of the pictures Chris shared with us of their time together...
This one wrapped up their time together. I am just in awe at all of this. As I told Chris...only a loving Father could orchestrate this. I am so thankful that God chose Chris to be the one to share this special time with Ivy-Ann. I couldn't have hand-picked anyone better, and I am so thankful for the special bond they now have.
Through these emails, I learned much about the heart of the woman spending time with our Ivy-Ann. She values these children. To her they are precious and worthy of her time, attention and love. She didn't just look at our request as a task to be checked off her to-do list at the end of the day. She viewed herself as a messenger sent to do her Father's work, part of which was to introduce our little girl to her family. We had no idea what to expect when we sent Chris our box of things. We have been blessed beyond anything we could imagine. She is truly a treasured gift.
The next morning I woke up and immediately checked my email. I hadn't slept much the night before. They are 13 hours ahead of us in China, so at some point while I should've been sleeping, Chris was giving Ivy-Ann our things and introducing her to us. I spent most of that night thinking, dreaming and praying.
But when I checked that morning, there was no email. I admit I was a little disappointed, but I also knew that Chris had so much going on, and I just assumed she was already in bed after a big day. I was also so thrilled with the pictures and emails I had already received from her.
A couple of hours later, though, I heard my phone notifying me of an email. I had not just one email from Chris but six! She had stayed up late that night because she wanted to share all of this with us. The first email was a beautiful recap of the time she spent with Ivy-Ann. That morning they played pattycake and enjoyed each other. After lunch, when it was nap-time, Chris asked if Ivy-Ann could come with her into another room to go through our things without interruption. I started crying at this. Chris understood how special and important this was to us, and it had become special and important to her as well.
Here are a just a few of the pictures Chris shared with us of their time together...
Through these emails, I learned much about the heart of the woman spending time with our Ivy-Ann. She values these children. To her they are precious and worthy of her time, attention and love. She didn't just look at our request as a task to be checked off her to-do list at the end of the day. She viewed herself as a messenger sent to do her Father's work, part of which was to introduce our little girl to her family. We had no idea what to expect when we sent Chris our box of things. We have been blessed beyond anything we could imagine. She is truly a treasured gift.
beautiful and unexpected part 2...
the story continues... (I think I'm going to share this in snippets instead of one long post.)
From what I understand, it is rare to get even a handful of pictures of your child during the adoption process. Some orphanages will not allow any information or pictures to leave the orphanage unless they are sending it directly to the family's adoption agency, and those updates are few and far between. Knowing that makes all of this even more precious.
I knew when Chris had left for China, and I knew when she was heading back home, but I didn't know exactly when she would be at Ivy-Ann's orphanage. I kept checking the Facebook page that's associated with the orphanage, because I knew the team would be posting some pictures there. I was filled with such anticipation! But each time I checked...no new pictures.
Then last Monday morning, July 8, I received an email from Chris. Their team had arrived at the orphanage and she found our sweet Ivy-Ann. This photo was tucked inside the message...
You can only imagine how seeing this warmed my heart. There was my sweet girls in the loving arms of the precious woman I'd been emailing. To see them together undid me. Chris said she planned on waiting a few days until Ivy-Ann was more settled and used to her, and then she would give her our things. That spoke volumes to me.
The next morning, I awoke to another email. Chris had spent part of her day having each girl come in and choose a dress from the dresses made by her and the women in her church. When it was Ivy-Ann's turn, Chris gave her the little dress we had sent her. She told Ivy-Ann that the dress was from her mama. Ivy-Ann put it on and started whirling and twirling, and she loved the softness and texture of the ribbon.
I could hardly contain myself when I saw this picture. That dress had draped over the rocking chair in our bedroom for quite some time, and there it was on my precious girl! Chris also mentioned that she would be giving Ivy-Ann our things the following day. We had dear friends in town during all of this, but my heart was with Chris in China and my thoughts were full of Ivy-Ann.
From what I understand, it is rare to get even a handful of pictures of your child during the adoption process. Some orphanages will not allow any information or pictures to leave the orphanage unless they are sending it directly to the family's adoption agency, and those updates are few and far between. Knowing that makes all of this even more precious.
I knew when Chris had left for China, and I knew when she was heading back home, but I didn't know exactly when she would be at Ivy-Ann's orphanage. I kept checking the Facebook page that's associated with the orphanage, because I knew the team would be posting some pictures there. I was filled with such anticipation! But each time I checked...no new pictures.
Then last Monday morning, July 8, I received an email from Chris. Their team had arrived at the orphanage and she found our sweet Ivy-Ann. This photo was tucked inside the message...
You can only imagine how seeing this warmed my heart. There was my sweet girls in the loving arms of the precious woman I'd been emailing. To see them together undid me. Chris said she planned on waiting a few days until Ivy-Ann was more settled and used to her, and then she would give her our things. That spoke volumes to me.
The next morning, I awoke to another email. Chris had spent part of her day having each girl come in and choose a dress from the dresses made by her and the women in her church. When it was Ivy-Ann's turn, Chris gave her the little dress we had sent her. She told Ivy-Ann that the dress was from her mama. Ivy-Ann put it on and started whirling and twirling, and she loved the softness and texture of the ribbon.
I could hardly contain myself when I saw this picture. That dress had draped over the rocking chair in our bedroom for quite some time, and there it was on my precious girl! Chris also mentioned that she would be giving Ivy-Ann our things the following day. We had dear friends in town during all of this, but my heart was with Chris in China and my thoughts were full of Ivy-Ann.
beautiful and unexpected...
We are still waiting for our LOA (letter of approval). When the changes were made to the database in China weeks ago, everything got put on hold. The LOAs are apparently the last piece of the puzzle to be found. So since April 16, we've had silence. The wait is like nothing I've ever experienced, but I'm learning to desire the Helper more than the help.
Last week, however, was a priceless gift in our journey to Ivy-Ann. Here is the beginning of the story...
Back in May, a family was visiting Ivy-Ann's orphanage. Their little girl was also from there. They took some precious pictures of Ivy-Ann which I shared in a post below. I also posted them on my Facebook page and linked to the sweet lady that took them. Another lady, who had spent some time with Ivy-Ann, was friends with the lady I linked to, and she saw those pictures and messaged me. She shared some lovely things with me about our sweet girl (also shared below).
This lady is part of a team of adoptive moms, therapists and special-education specialists who work closely with the orphanage and go at least once a year to assess the children and train the staff there. She mentioned that a team would be going to the orphanage in July and that she would be sharing my blog with some of the those team members. The next morning, I awoke to an email from Chris. And so began an unexpected, beautiful relationship.
Chris had been to the orphanage and worked with the children, and she sent me a couple of sweet pictures of Ivy-Ann. She also mentioned that she and many women from her church were going to be making sundresses for the girls at the orphanage, and she asked if I would want to pick out Ivy-Ann's dress and send it to her. My heart melted. Yes!
We had been slowly gathering things to put together in hopes of sending them to Ivy-Ann. However, we had been told that the "post office" in China was holding many of the boxes, and those children never receive their gifts. Another option we had was to go through a lady in China. She has a website set up where you choose various gifts for her to send to the orphanage. She also allows you to email her photos of your family for her to put together in an album. Either way, our things would be sent to the orphanage for the aunties to go through with Ivy-Ann. We were still contemplating which route to go.
As Chris and I emailed back and forth a bit, it struck me that perhaps she might be willing to take our things with her to give to Ivy-Ann. I asked her, and she said yes. We were thrilled! This would allow us to pick out a few, specific things for Ivy-Ann as well as spend time putting together the photo album of our family. We would also have greater assurance that our things would actually reach our little girl.
A couple of weeks before Chris left for China, we sent her our box of things. I didn't know exactly when she would be at the orphanage or how she would go about giving our things to our sweet girl, but I would soon find out!
Last week, however, was a priceless gift in our journey to Ivy-Ann. Here is the beginning of the story...
Back in May, a family was visiting Ivy-Ann's orphanage. Their little girl was also from there. They took some precious pictures of Ivy-Ann which I shared in a post below. I also posted them on my Facebook page and linked to the sweet lady that took them. Another lady, who had spent some time with Ivy-Ann, was friends with the lady I linked to, and she saw those pictures and messaged me. She shared some lovely things with me about our sweet girl (also shared below).
This lady is part of a team of adoptive moms, therapists and special-education specialists who work closely with the orphanage and go at least once a year to assess the children and train the staff there. She mentioned that a team would be going to the orphanage in July and that she would be sharing my blog with some of the those team members. The next morning, I awoke to an email from Chris. And so began an unexpected, beautiful relationship.
Chris had been to the orphanage and worked with the children, and she sent me a couple of sweet pictures of Ivy-Ann. She also mentioned that she and many women from her church were going to be making sundresses for the girls at the orphanage, and she asked if I would want to pick out Ivy-Ann's dress and send it to her. My heart melted. Yes!
We had been slowly gathering things to put together in hopes of sending them to Ivy-Ann. However, we had been told that the "post office" in China was holding many of the boxes, and those children never receive their gifts. Another option we had was to go through a lady in China. She has a website set up where you choose various gifts for her to send to the orphanage. She also allows you to email her photos of your family for her to put together in an album. Either way, our things would be sent to the orphanage for the aunties to go through with Ivy-Ann. We were still contemplating which route to go.
As Chris and I emailed back and forth a bit, it struck me that perhaps she might be willing to take our things with her to give to Ivy-Ann. I asked her, and she said yes. We were thrilled! This would allow us to pick out a few, specific things for Ivy-Ann as well as spend time putting together the photo album of our family. We would also have greater assurance that our things would actually reach our little girl.
A couple of weeks before Chris left for China, we sent her our box of things. I didn't know exactly when she would be at the orphanage or how she would go about giving our things to our sweet girl, but I would soon find out!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
for the first time...
Things have been very quiet in regards to our adoption process. I remember reading various blogs over the years and hearing others talk about how hard the waiting is. It's not that I didn't believe them, but my goodness...you just don't know the depths of the longing until you're wallowing in them.
We are still waiting for our Letter of Approval (LOA). There have been some pauses in China's processing as they've transitioned to a new processing system followed by a week of holiday. These things just slow everything down a bit. We trust the timing of the One who loves our little girl more than we do, but that doesn't mean that the waiting isn't hard.
But there are are things in the midst of the waiting that bring such joy. A team of therapists will be going to Ivy-Ann's orphanage in a couple of weeks. One of the team members contacted me, and she will be taking a small bag of things from us to our Ivy-Ann. (I am so grateful!)
A dress made just for her.
Some cute panties.
A toothbrush and toothpaste.
A rain stick for her little ears that adore sound.
Sunglasses to hopefully allow her to see a bit better when it's sunny.
Lady and the Tramp to encourage some role playing.
A bunny that has been loved and slept with during the time we had it. Hopefully the bunny has our scent and will help in us seeming a bit familiar to Ivy-Ann when she meets us.
And the most exciting to me...a photo album of us...Ivy-Ann's family.
The majority of the photos I put in the album have the bunny in it. She is sitting on Ivy-Ann's bed, or being held by each of us, or sitting in between Ashlyn and Emryn on the couch. Basically, the bunny was in Ivy-Ann's "place." I don't know if Ivy-Ann will make the connection between herself and the bunny, but it was so special for us to take these photos.
I don't think I'll ever forget the afternoon I spent putting together the photo album. I wanted it to be simple but cute. We took close-ups of each of us in hopes that Ivy-Ann will better be able to see our faces. I wrote our names in English, pinyin and Chinese calligraphy. I'm sure I did not do all the strokes correctly, but I'm hoping Ivy-Ann's "aunties" will be able to decipher what I wrote. There is nothing quite like introducing yourself to your little girl. I just wanted it to be perfect, not perfectly executed, but perfect for who she is and what she needs to see. I pray that it is.
Sometime in the next few weeks, our little girl will see photos of her family for the first time. I am praying that that moment will be the beginning of a connection in Ivy-Ann's heart. My desire is that when we walk into the room to meet her later this year, we won't be strangers to her. My hope is that there will be some level of familiarity, of love, of belonging, of family, of home.
We are still waiting for our Letter of Approval (LOA). There have been some pauses in China's processing as they've transitioned to a new processing system followed by a week of holiday. These things just slow everything down a bit. We trust the timing of the One who loves our little girl more than we do, but that doesn't mean that the waiting isn't hard.
But there are are things in the midst of the waiting that bring such joy. A team of therapists will be going to Ivy-Ann's orphanage in a couple of weeks. One of the team members contacted me, and she will be taking a small bag of things from us to our Ivy-Ann. (I am so grateful!)
A dress made just for her.
Some cute panties.
A toothbrush and toothpaste.
A rain stick for her little ears that adore sound.
Sunglasses to hopefully allow her to see a bit better when it's sunny.
Lady and the Tramp to encourage some role playing.
A bunny that has been loved and slept with during the time we had it. Hopefully the bunny has our scent and will help in us seeming a bit familiar to Ivy-Ann when she meets us.
And the most exciting to me...a photo album of us...Ivy-Ann's family.
The majority of the photos I put in the album have the bunny in it. She is sitting on Ivy-Ann's bed, or being held by each of us, or sitting in between Ashlyn and Emryn on the couch. Basically, the bunny was in Ivy-Ann's "place." I don't know if Ivy-Ann will make the connection between herself and the bunny, but it was so special for us to take these photos.
I don't think I'll ever forget the afternoon I spent putting together the photo album. I wanted it to be simple but cute. We took close-ups of each of us in hopes that Ivy-Ann will better be able to see our faces. I wrote our names in English, pinyin and Chinese calligraphy. I'm sure I did not do all the strokes correctly, but I'm hoping Ivy-Ann's "aunties" will be able to decipher what I wrote. There is nothing quite like introducing yourself to your little girl. I just wanted it to be perfect, not perfectly executed, but perfect for who she is and what she needs to see. I pray that it is.
Sometime in the next few weeks, our little girl will see photos of her family for the first time. I am praying that that moment will be the beginning of a connection in Ivy-Ann's heart. My desire is that when we walk into the room to meet her later this year, we won't be strangers to her. My hope is that there will be some level of familiarity, of love, of belonging, of family, of home.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
be still my heart...
Monday, May 13, 2013
a little more of who you are...
This morning I opened up facebook to find another message. This time it was from someone I didn't even know. She informed me that she is the chair of the board of the organization that works with Ivy-Ann's orphanage. Every year a team of health and special ed professors, from the university where she teaches, goes to the orphanage to work with the kids, train the nannies and help develop programs for the various ages and needs of the children that are there.
The dear woman who contacted me has spent time with our little girl and spoke so highly of her. It warmed our hearts to hear what she had to say...
"I cannot tell you how happy I am to see this lovely (and I mean she is simply gorgeous!) girl find a family. I'm truly thrilled for her. She is so much FUN.
...When I saw her last summer, Ivy-Ann was full of laughter--a great belly laugh and chuckling whenever the team did activities she loved--and she loves sound. I think she will enjoy music and movement. Her big sisters will find someone ready to play and who is very brave--from what I saw. Truly, our team adored her: She was tender, and smart, and so curious. Whenever we were having meetings in the conference room, Ivy-Ann would sail in to see what was up, then climb on our laps to see what was going on. We knew her vision challenges were such a small part of who she is, and we so much hoped she would find a family to adore her, because she is such a gift. Really, Kelli, she is a beautiful person, and I'm so happy she will have everything she deserves."
This was such a beautiful gift. I am honored that this lady, who didn't even know me, had such love and respect for our little girl that she took the time to share all of this with me. Thank you, Kathlene.
Another team is going to the orphanage in July, and they will be loving on Ivy-Ann and taking more pictures of her for us. This thrills me! If any of you are reading this, thank you so much for what you are doing. Thank you for loving and taking care of these children in this special way. Thank you for supporting them and cherishing them. Thank you for how you have helped our little girl blossom. And even though I do not know you, I do know this...each of you is treasured.
The dear woman who contacted me has spent time with our little girl and spoke so highly of her. It warmed our hearts to hear what she had to say...
"I cannot tell you how happy I am to see this lovely (and I mean she is simply gorgeous!) girl find a family. I'm truly thrilled for her. She is so much FUN.
...When I saw her last summer, Ivy-Ann was full of laughter--a great belly laugh and chuckling whenever the team did activities she loved--and she loves sound. I think she will enjoy music and movement. Her big sisters will find someone ready to play and who is very brave--from what I saw. Truly, our team adored her: She was tender, and smart, and so curious. Whenever we were having meetings in the conference room, Ivy-Ann would sail in to see what was up, then climb on our laps to see what was going on. We knew her vision challenges were such a small part of who she is, and we so much hoped she would find a family to adore her, because she is such a gift. Really, Kelli, she is a beautiful person, and I'm so happy she will have everything she deserves."
This was such a beautiful gift. I am honored that this lady, who didn't even know me, had such love and respect for our little girl that she took the time to share all of this with me. Thank you, Kathlene.
Another team is going to the orphanage in July, and they will be loving on Ivy-Ann and taking more pictures of her for us. This thrills me! If any of you are reading this, thank you so much for what you are doing. Thank you for loving and taking care of these children in this special way. Thank you for supporting them and cherishing them. Thank you for how you have helped our little girl blossom. And even though I do not know you, I do know this...each of you is treasured.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
growing up...
This morning, I opened up facebook to see a message from a sweet new friend who is over in China right now. She and her husband are there getting their precious daughter who just happens to be from the same orphanage as Ivy-Ann. We have been following their journey closely and are so excited for them!
Inside the message, however, were new pictures of our sweet girl. I cannot believe how much she has changed since September! She's losing some of that toddler-look and looking more like a little girl.
Oh my goodness. I get teary-eyed looking at these. The other pictures that we have, we've had since the end of December. We had gotten so used to seeing them, and we'd built our image of her around those pictures. When I saw these pictures and how much our baby girl has grown and changed just in 8 months, I realized I really do not know her. The image of her that I have is one I've fabricated. I think that's just how it goes. But even though I really don't know her...oh my...how I love her!
Inside the message, however, were new pictures of our sweet girl. I cannot believe how much she has changed since September! She's losing some of that toddler-look and looking more like a little girl.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
unexpected companions...
Once we found out we were pre-approved to be Ivy-Ann's family, we started sharing the news with our family and friends. I posted it on my facebook wall as well as in the facebook group of families that are also adopting from China using our agency.
Not long after posting it, a sweet lady (from the group), that I didn't even know, wrote and told me how excited she was for us. She said she had seen Ivy-Ann's picture on our agency's website months before and that she had been praying for her and praying that her family would find her.
I cannot tell you what this meant to me. Someone else had been praying for my little girl. Someone I had never met. And she was rejoicing that we had found our daughter!
.............................
A couple of days later, I posted something on facebook about Ivy-Ann's name. My beautiful friend, Rebecca Reynolds responded, and, as we were talking, we discovered that around the same time we had decided to adopt from China, she had written a song called "Ivy." Not only that, a friend and mentor of mine, Ron Block, whose songs I've sung to my girls as lullabies since they were born, is the one who put those lyrics to music for his upcoming album.
And listen to some of the lyrics...
"Ivy, I can't ramble on, I'm running home to you."
"I long for the music of your laughter in the night."
"Ivy, wind your love around the love I bring to you."
"Ivy, make me strong; Ivy make me new."
"Ivy, I can't ramble on, I'm running home to you."
Here's a youtube video of Ron playing and singing "Ivy."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0xjDexsBX0
When I listened to Ron singing Becca's lyrics, I cried. As I sat there soaking in all the details of what this song is and how it came to be, I realized that my Father loves me enough that He orchestrated all of this for me. He had chosen Ivy-Ann for us. He knew her name before I even did. And He wanted me to know that. I couldn't think of a more beautiful way for Him to tell me than through this song written by these two, beloved friends.
...................................
A day or so later, I was talking with a dear friend. She casually handed me an envelope and told me to just read it later. I put in my purse and didn't think about it again until later that evening. I opened it to find a beautiful, hand-made card. But the tears didn't come until I read what she had written.
Her best friend's father had passed away the day before, and as she was thinking about how to celebrate his life, she thought of Ivy-Ann. She said, "What better way to honor his life than with the gift of life for her!" Included was a portion of the money we need to bring our daughter home. We were so humbled and honored by the meaningful gift their family gave us.
....................................
Each one of these things is a treasure to me that I don't want to forget. Each of these people has become a part of Ivy-Ann's story. It's all been unexpected, but it's been so beautiful!
Not long after posting it, a sweet lady (from the group), that I didn't even know, wrote and told me how excited she was for us. She said she had seen Ivy-Ann's picture on our agency's website months before and that she had been praying for her and praying that her family would find her.
I cannot tell you what this meant to me. Someone else had been praying for my little girl. Someone I had never met. And she was rejoicing that we had found our daughter!
.............................
A couple of days later, I posted something on facebook about Ivy-Ann's name. My beautiful friend, Rebecca Reynolds responded, and, as we were talking, we discovered that around the same time we had decided to adopt from China, she had written a song called "Ivy." Not only that, a friend and mentor of mine, Ron Block, whose songs I've sung to my girls as lullabies since they were born, is the one who put those lyrics to music for his upcoming album.
And listen to some of the lyrics...
"Ivy, I can't ramble on, I'm running home to you."
"I long for the music of your laughter in the night."
"Ivy, wind your love around the love I bring to you."
"Ivy, make me strong; Ivy make me new."
"Ivy, I can't ramble on, I'm running home to you."
Here's a youtube video of Ron playing and singing "Ivy."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0xjDexsBX0
When I listened to Ron singing Becca's lyrics, I cried. As I sat there soaking in all the details of what this song is and how it came to be, I realized that my Father loves me enough that He orchestrated all of this for me. He had chosen Ivy-Ann for us. He knew her name before I even did. And He wanted me to know that. I couldn't think of a more beautiful way for Him to tell me than through this song written by these two, beloved friends.
...................................
A day or so later, I was talking with a dear friend. She casually handed me an envelope and told me to just read it later. I put in my purse and didn't think about it again until later that evening. I opened it to find a beautiful, hand-made card. But the tears didn't come until I read what she had written.
Her best friend's father had passed away the day before, and as she was thinking about how to celebrate his life, she thought of Ivy-Ann. She said, "What better way to honor his life than with the gift of life for her!" Included was a portion of the money we need to bring our daughter home. We were so humbled and honored by the meaningful gift their family gave us.
....................................
Each one of these things is a treasure to me that I don't want to forget. Each of these people has become a part of Ivy-Ann's story. It's all been unexpected, but it's been so beautiful!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Ivy-Ann...
Once we had seen this precious face, we asked for her file. A child's file contains all the medical history the orphanage has on her along with a bit about her development and personality. One thing that was mentioned several times about Ivy-Ann is that she loves to sing and can easily learn songs. Now, if you know anything about my other girls, you know that singing is a big part of our daily lives. In fact, Brian often says that our family lives in the midst of a musical.
Another thing we learned about Ivy-Ann is that she has an eye condition called nystagmus. This causes her eyes to constantly shift from side-to-side. There is no cure for it, but glasses are typically very helpful. We will try to help her find the right tilt of head that will allow her to better focus. As she gets older, we will also try contacts, as these can often highly minimize the effects of the nystagmus. We don't know the severity of her nystagmus, but eye conditions are not foreign to our family. I have dealt with various eye issues for the past twenty years. Ashlyn had a very serious eye condition for five years (that cleared up two years ago!). Ivy-Ann's nystagmus felt very familiar to us.
We also noticed that Ivy-Ann seems happy and loved. I'm a big researcher, and after some poking around, I found eighteen pictures of her and four videos. There are orphans in various orphanages that basically never get physically touched. This breaks my heart, and I just cannot understand it. But in most of the pictures of Ivy-Ann, she is being held or caressed somehow by one of the nannies. This spoke volumes to us. We have been taught that this will help her bond more easily with us.
She is also very curious. In multiple pictures she is peering into whatever is happening trying to figure it out. Since she can't see well, she has to hold items quite close to her eyes so she can focus on them. In one of the videos and in some of the pictures, you can tell that she spends time studying things in order to figure out the details of them.
These were some of the things that caused us to fall in love with this little girl immediately. After reading her file, we were ready to see if we could be matched with her. This means we would send a letter of intent for her to the CCCWA (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption), and they would pre-approve us to be her family. The problem was that Ivy-Ann's file was marked as "special needs" and not "special focus." Because of where we were in the process, we could only be matched with a "special focus" child. Our agency even requested that China change her file so we could be matched. They said no. Logan, our adoption specialist, said she would make a note by Ivy-Ann's file that we were interested in her, and she would let us know if another family got matched with her.
All we could do at that point was work on getting our dossier (our home study, immigrations' approval, police clearances, basically lots of paperwork) to China so the CCCWA could log us into their system. It was only when we were logged-in that we could be matched with a "special needs" child. We hoped and prayed that Ivy-Ann would still be available once we were logged in, but our excitement for her also proved to us that we were ready to adopt.
We moved as quickly as we could through getting fingerprints and doing all we needed to do to complete our dossier. At the end of February, Logan called to see if we were still interested in Ivy-Ann. She wanted to know what our interest-level was and where we were with our paperwork. We were going to get fingerprinted the next day, which was the last thing we needed for our dossier. And yes! we were still very interested.
Logan called the next day to ask if we would consider sending Ivy-Ann a little gift. She said this was not normal, and it would guarantee us nothing. Gift-giving is very important in the Chinese culture, and our coordinator in China felt this would be good for the CCCWA and the interested families to see. We decided to go ahead and send her a little blanket and a small stuffed animal. We knew that it may be nothing more than showing a sweet, little girl that someone cared for her.
After that, we didn't hear anything until Tuesday, April 16. Our paperwork had been logged into China a week before, and with that we had sent a letter to the CCCWA expressing our intentions and desire to adopt this little girl. On April 16, we received a phone call from Logan. She told us that the CCCWA had pre-approved us to be Ivy-Ann's family.
It had been almost four months since we had first seen that beautiful face. Now we were told she would be ours. And so began the growing of this little girl in my heart. During those four months of not knowing whether or not she would belong to us, I had tried to protect myself from becoming attached to her. But once I heard those words from Logan, it was almost as if an emotional pregnancy began. God has created me to love and take care of this little girl, and He is growing her inside of me in such a similar way as He did my other girls. It is a gift, and I am so humbled and honored to be chosen to be Ivy-Ann's mama.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
a couple of answers...
I've had quite a few people ask me the same two questions...
Why are you adopting? Why China?
I thought I'd answer those questions here. I've spent some time thinking through both of these questions, because I didn't have a cut-and-dried answer when first asked.
Some years ago, we started talking about and asking God what He wanted our family to do in order to take care of orphans. How could we bring beauty into the chaos of the lives of those who had been abandoned? How could we help give a name to one who had no name? During this time, we partnered with some orphanages in various ways.
Months into this, we felt a nudge towards international adoption. It was a little strange, because we were very content with our family the way it was. We really weren't planning on having any more children. But we started researching international adoption. About a year later, we found out we were moving to Alabama, and we put any thoughts of adoption on the back burner.
About nine months after we moved, we felt that nudge again. We went to a meeting held by an adoption agency to learn more, and we started getting excited. Adoption seemed more feasible and less scary. Still, for months, we kept learning, thinking and praying.
There was so much involved in this decision. One of the main things, for me, was thinking through how it would affect our girls. I tend to over-think things, so I had quite the array of scenarios constantly running through my mind.
Finally Brian and I sat down and asked ourselves this question, "What is it that we are waiting for exactly?" Spending time with that question was crucial for us. It was at this point that we decided to go ahead and move forward. We had already decided on what agency we would use, so that was helpful. And though we were still somewhat unsure about what we were doing, we agreed that we would just start the process and only continue to the next step if we both felt that it was what God was asking us to do.
By July of 2012, we had finished everything we could up to the point of choosing a country from which to adopt. We spent time looking at the waiting children on our adoption agency's website and studying the details of the countries and the children living in the orphanages in each country. And for various reasons, we kept coming back to China.
While learning about the various countries, we quickly realized there were things we could and couldn't handle. We did not feel equipped to have a child who had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and the children in the Eastern European often have this. We didn't want to be out of the country for longer than four weeks or for multiple trips, which is required by Africa and the Latin American countries. We wanted a little one, age four or younger, who had been abandoned. We wanted the whole process to take less than two years. And we were okay to adopt a little one that had special needs that we felt we could handle.
As we learned more about us and about the countries, it seemed like China was the right fit for us. The entire process for adopting a little one from China typically takes 12-18 months for a child with special needs. You spend two weeks in China when you go to get your child. The children in Chinese orphanages have been abandoned. FASD is not prevalent in China. But even after deciding that China was the place for us, we still hesitated to jump in.
And then, the night before Christmas 2012, I saw a picture of a beautiful, little girl. I watched three videos of her. I was captivated. I called Brian in to see her, and we decided right then that we wanted to bring her home. (And we hope to soon!)
So, for us, adoption is our response to our Father when he commands us to take care of orphans. And why are we going to China? Well...mainly because that is where our daughter is. :)
Why are you adopting? Why China?
I thought I'd answer those questions here. I've spent some time thinking through both of these questions, because I didn't have a cut-and-dried answer when first asked.
Some years ago, we started talking about and asking God what He wanted our family to do in order to take care of orphans. How could we bring beauty into the chaos of the lives of those who had been abandoned? How could we help give a name to one who had no name? During this time, we partnered with some orphanages in various ways.
Months into this, we felt a nudge towards international adoption. It was a little strange, because we were very content with our family the way it was. We really weren't planning on having any more children. But we started researching international adoption. About a year later, we found out we were moving to Alabama, and we put any thoughts of adoption on the back burner.
About nine months after we moved, we felt that nudge again. We went to a meeting held by an adoption agency to learn more, and we started getting excited. Adoption seemed more feasible and less scary. Still, for months, we kept learning, thinking and praying.
There was so much involved in this decision. One of the main things, for me, was thinking through how it would affect our girls. I tend to over-think things, so I had quite the array of scenarios constantly running through my mind.
Finally Brian and I sat down and asked ourselves this question, "What is it that we are waiting for exactly?" Spending time with that question was crucial for us. It was at this point that we decided to go ahead and move forward. We had already decided on what agency we would use, so that was helpful. And though we were still somewhat unsure about what we were doing, we agreed that we would just start the process and only continue to the next step if we both felt that it was what God was asking us to do.
By July of 2012, we had finished everything we could up to the point of choosing a country from which to adopt. We spent time looking at the waiting children on our adoption agency's website and studying the details of the countries and the children living in the orphanages in each country. And for various reasons, we kept coming back to China.
While learning about the various countries, we quickly realized there were things we could and couldn't handle. We did not feel equipped to have a child who had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and the children in the Eastern European often have this. We didn't want to be out of the country for longer than four weeks or for multiple trips, which is required by Africa and the Latin American countries. We wanted a little one, age four or younger, who had been abandoned. We wanted the whole process to take less than two years. And we were okay to adopt a little one that had special needs that we felt we could handle.
As we learned more about us and about the countries, it seemed like China was the right fit for us. The entire process for adopting a little one from China typically takes 12-18 months for a child with special needs. You spend two weeks in China when you go to get your child. The children in Chinese orphanages have been abandoned. FASD is not prevalent in China. But even after deciding that China was the place for us, we still hesitated to jump in.
And then, the night before Christmas 2012, I saw a picture of a beautiful, little girl. I watched three videos of her. I was captivated. I called Brian in to see her, and we decided right then that we wanted to bring her home. (And we hope to soon!)
So, for us, adoption is our response to our Father when he commands us to take care of orphans. And why are we going to China? Well...mainly because that is where our daughter is. :)
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